The Thais are world class experts on knowing whether one's
expression of heart and the actual status of the heart match.
Whether the speaker is being genuine or is merely trying
to please with a pleasant phrase. The quickest way to lose
credibility is to use a heart phrase for an ulterior motive,
that is in an effort to gain something from the listener
rather than communicate a true emotional state of being.
A number of the heart phrases appearing in this chapter
have appeared in earlier chapters. For the die-hard romantic
a review of such heart phrases from the point of view of
romance is a useful exercise.
A good place to start is with heart phrases about commitment
and then to examine the heart phrases one might find inside
a hill cycle of romance: Boy wishes to meet girl and suffers
until he finds her, then boyfriend and girlfriend have an
argument and the relationship ends with the girl walking
out, and the boy is left to nurse his emotional wounds.
Of course the cycle is the same where the girl wishes to
meet boy. At each point in the cycle there is a heart phrase.
Commitment
There are romantic relationships that last a day and others
that last a fife time. The degree of personal commitment
to the relationship is conveyed in a number of heartphrases.
The common link in each phrase is the importance a special
person occupies in the life of another. Given this chapter
is about romanceone kind of a relationshipthe object of
communication is assumed to be a spouse or lover.
Body and Heart
thang kaay IE jai ทั้งกายและใจ
The heart of romance is when two people achieve that state
of being where they feel a communion of Body and Soul. The
heart phrase thang kaay IE jai is that threshold beyond
plong jai rak. When ones spouse or lover whispers thang
kaay IE jai it is the ultimate Zen state of commitment when
the bodies and souls of two people merge and there is now
a sense of oneness. She has held nothing back and neither
has he; they exist together as body and soul. One is deep
in the heartland of romance before using thang kaay IE jai.
By doing so, the man becomes the womans hero and she becomes
his heroine, and they are in a romantic epic of their own
making.
Confident Heart
man jai มั่นใจ
To have a "confident heart" means a person is
confident of their feelings about their spouse or lover.
In the context of romance, the confidence is specifically
about the relationship and the other person's commitment
to the relationship. To say one feels man jai regarded as
an expression of commitment between two people in a relationship.
When one person asks their lover about his or her feelings
concerning the relationship, and the lover replies by using
this expression, it means she or he trusts them and is committed
to being with them.
Contract of One's Heart
san yaa jai
สัญญาใจ
"Contract of one's heart" is another weighty
emotional heart phrase. One has committed their heart to
a permanent relationship or marriage. This commitment is
san yaa jaiit is one person's contract with their heart.
And the terms are dear: he or she is in the relationship
for keeps. This is not idle conversation for the first date.
This is not dating talk at all. The language of contract
means one has seated a lover's bargain for staying the course
over the long haul. Break this contract and the damages
for the contract breaker to worry about are not ones their
lawyer can protect them against.
Gold Chain Around Ones Heart
soo thOOng khlOOng jai โซ่ทองคล้องใจ
The "gold chain around one's heart" is a feeling
Thai parents may have about their children in orbit around
their lives. Also, it is an expression for the feeling children
have about their parents. The heart phrase conveys a good
feeling or a feeling of wellness. It is not limited to parent-child
and may be used between lovers.
Like the heart phrase below, this one is the real "inside
stuff' on what Thai speakers say to express that special
relationship. It would be unusual for a non-native speaker
to know and use this phrase. By so doing, it is likely to
draw an amazed smile. The spin is this, "An emotional
gravity holds us in a tight orbit, and nothin', but nothin'
ain't gonna pull us apart."
Irrevocable Heart
plong jai rak ปลงใจรัก
The irreversible feeling of love is plong jai rak. One
has given in their heart to another in a way that makes
it impossible for them to withdraw from the relationship.
The notion of "irrevocably' is weighty and meaningful
in any language. lf wishes to use plong jai rak it should
be understood that "irrevocable heart" is an expression
of a lifelong commitment. To revoke the irrevocable is probably
an exempted risk on Thai life insurance policy-, one should
check it before carelessly using this heart phrase. These
are the words every Thai (indeed everyone) wishes to hear-but
not as phuut aw jai or flattering talk.
Iris of the Heart
kEEw taa duang jai แก้วตาดวงใจ
The person who is the "iris of the heart" is
the most important or vital person residing in the center
of one's heart. This is the NASA command center. Every emotional
thing a person puts into orbit comes from here. One wants
to be programmed into this place in their spouses or lover's
heart. It is common for Thais to say the most important
thing in a mother's heart is her children. And a daughter
will invariably say her mother is the most important thing
in her heart. It is less common for a lover to use this
phrase; but when used in the romantic context what proceeds
is often an emotional meltdown.
My Heart
jai duang nii ใจดวงนี้
This romantic heart phrase means that one is committed
to another. It is an expression of giving one's heart to
that special person in their fife. Each person would like
for their lover or spouse to proclaim, "I love you
and jai duang nii is for you only. "
Cycle of Romance
Breathing Together Heart
mii jai hay kan มีใจให้กัน
Early into the romantic cycle it is common for lovers to
experience a closeness and oneness. It is as if they are
breathing as one being. Thus the "breathing together
heart" is the honeymoon phase of the relationship.
The ultimate discovery of defects and flaws is for a later
stage in the cycle. For the moment, the lovers are in peace
and harmony with one another. They are fulfilled and satisfied.
And more importantly, they are in love with one another.
The essence of the heart phrase is to the love two people
feel towards each other. This phrase can be used to ask
a question about whether another person loves them. A couple
has been friends for a longtime and this grows into love
and one day, one them acknowledges this transition from
friendship into love by using this phrase.
Capture Another's Heart
khayum hua jai ขยุ้มหัวใจ
This is a slang heart phrase for describing the feeling
that comes when another person has captured their heart.
The meaning is they want a relationship with this person,
the feeling of love and commitment are implicit in the phrase
as well. Lek may confide to her friend Noi, that Charles
with whom she has been having a relationship via the internet
has captured her heart.
Cold Heart
naaw jai หนาวใจ
"Cold heart" is the opening scene prior to the
commencement of a love affair. A man or woman who claims
to feel naaw jai is giving a signal that he or she wishes
to have a relationship with another and is suffering from
the lack of such a relationship. The heart phrase is the
stuff of poetry, films, and novels. The emotional state
is like an arctic cold front which blows through a person's
heart and leaves them with the feeling of aloneness; in
this snowbound world of the heart, their life in the world
is cold, and they experience naaw jai. When this inner sense
of loneliness occurs then the desire arises to seek refuge
in a relationship. On the other hand, a man or a woman who
is constantly complaining of this emotional state might
be said to be khii naaw jai. The expression refers to the
nature of such a person which suggests a negative quality.
Depressed Heart
ra thom jai ระทมใจ
The "depressed heart" is the final emotional
state in the romantic cycle of lovers meeting, one lover
leaving the other, an d the left person feeling depressed.
The term is used primarily in the context of a love affair
that has ended or is heading toward its final destruction.
The heart phrase is similar to pooet jai but it conveys
a greater sense of depression. When one's lover runs off
with his or her best friend then he or her will feel ra
thom jai.
Heaven in the Chest, Hell in the Heart
sawan nay ok narok nay jai สวรรค์ในอกนรกในใจ
The literal translation is that one feels heaven in one's
chest but hell inside one's heart. The lovers no longer
are breathing as one person. Conflicts have emerged. The
inevitable problems of adjustment have given way to a period
of compromise where one or both lovers feel that they have
the best and worst of worlds inside the relationship. The
heart experiences an emotional schizophrenia. Whether the
heaven part dominates or the hell part does will depend
on a number of factors within the relationship. Or it may
be that the balance between heaven and hell is roughly equal
and the relationship struggles along without any firm resolution.
Hurt Heart
hua jai raaw raan หัวใจร้าวราน
"Hurt Heart" occurs along with the "heaven
and hell heart" in the love affair cycle. After finding
the person to rid one of the feeling of naaw jai the lover
splits from the scene. Now he or she finds themself in the
possession of another kind of broken heart; one without
the feeling for revenge. This feeling for the lover should
be distinguished from jep jai, which is a broken heart,
for which the person may seek revenge. When dealing with
broken hearts, it is important to distinguish between emotional
conditions where the hurt is turned inward, such as hua
jai raaw, which is the language of poetry, songs, films
and novels where a love affair has ended.
Melting Heart
jai la, laay ใจละลาย
The "melting heart" is another heart phrase for
disappointment in love. The woman leaves the man and he
feels disappointed in love. The emotional state is one of
heavy, hurt feelings over the loss of a loved one.
Possess Another's Heart
khrOOng jai ครองใจ
The emotional message is that by possessing another's heart
there is an obligation to look after and take care of the
emotional well being of that person. Lovers can employ this
heart phrase when talking about their feelings. Often it
is used among friends to describe how they feel about their
loved ones. Sometimes the heart phrase pops up in commercial
advertising as well. For instance, it has been used to sell
house paint. The paint which is claimed to be of very good
quality possesses the heart of the people who love their
house.
